All my life I have moved on, from house to house, city to city, even country to country. There is something about New York however that has a hold on me. How can I move on from a city where I feel I belong, become who I am, and make a community for myself? I think many seniors may have the same thought, and who aren’t sure where they’re going. Many will stay in the city but I’m sure others, just like me, are thinking of moving on not only to another city but also to another phase of life. How can we cope with creating a whole new life, the struggle of beginning again? I want to explain first why I love New York but also the reason I’m leaving and how to deal with the complex feelings of this choice.
New York is where I learned to become myself, my first adult home. When I packed the car for the first time to drive eight hours to my dorm I could never have imagined my life would end up here. I have learned more about myself than I ever could if I had stayed at home. Recently a freshman asked me if it gets better and I had to stop and think. My sophomore year was truly one of my worst but it led to so much growth. Junior year as well as senior year have been some of the best of my life. I have accomplished so many goals, made several groups of friends, and came out to truly exist as I wanted to in life. I have been lucky enough to study in Ireland, visit six other countries, see every borough, experience every season, and live three wonderful years in this city. This is what makes it hard to move on, I built a life here and now I’m actively choosing to leave.
Many people may wonder why I want to leave something that sounds so amazing. A large reason is sadly affordability, the city and grad school are expensive and NYC makes it hard to keep up. I also tend to move on to new places after large life events. I went to grade school in one school, middle school somewhere else, and high school in three different places. When I studied abroad in high school as soon as I got home I decided I needed to move far away for college. All of these places changed me, and I think moving from state to state created a lot of who I am. I am more confident and outgoing something I never was before I came to the city. I think because of this if I move to another new city I will continue to evolve into this newer more confident person.
Despite wanting to move on this is the hardest decision I think I’ve ever made. I have a lot of experience with this and can offer some tips to everyone who has complicated feelings about moving on. The hardest struggle I’ve had with all these transfers is making friends. While it took me many years to learn how to approach and interact with people when I moved I eventually gained the confidence needed to succeed. The biggest hurdle was simply talking to people, being the first one to put yourself out there is important. It led to me gaining a genuine friend group full of people I love and care about. The other issue was always adapting to where I am at the moment. I have become a person who loves seeing all the cool and exciting things a place has to offer and will make lists and itineraries of where to go and what to do. Becoming a planner is the best thing I could have done not only for the university but also for adapting and discovering the world around me.
I will always grieve leaving the city and the struggles I may face in a new place are daunting. The life I have now is sure to change and evolve and it is a struggle having to go along with it. Yet this struggle also brings the freedom of never being tied down, feeling free. I will always want to explore the path ahead of me to become who I was meant to be. This means grieving where I left off and struggling to move on, as well as joyfully choosing a new journey in life.
Written by Kat Reed