The Black man is “forced” to be hard and not soft. The Black man is “forced” to be without emotions and not emotional. The Black man is “forced” to adhere to a strict code of masculinity and is not allowed to show an ounce of femininity. These enforcements are a result of living under a patriarchal society. To uphold these enforcements is to uphold white supremacy. If Black men were allowed to express themselves maybe they would be less violent.
To the Black man:
It is okay to be soft. It is okay to feel emotions. It is okay to be vulnerable. It is okay to ask for help. Holding on to the rough exterior of toxic masculinity is beneficial to no one. It has allowed violence to invade our community and put a wrench within the Black family dynamic. The root of this violence stems from generational trauma, the patriarchy, and toxic masculinity. Deconstructing toxic masculinity can be a step in the right direction for the progression of the Black man and the community as a whole.
Boys do in fact cry
One of the very first things that Black boys learn is that it is not okay to cry. Crying is a natural expression of emotions whether it comes from a positive or negative feeling. By bottling emotions, this causes a release in a maladaptive, or negative, way and this can be a possible root of violence. The first step to dismantling toxic masculinity within the Black community is by allowing young Black men to express their emotions in a positive manner so that they can grow up knowing that they are heard and valid.
Down with the DL
Homophobia is a serious problem within the Black American community and the African diaspora overall. Homophobia has made its way into the African diaspora from the West, white supremacy, and the spread of Christianity through European colonization and the transatlantic slave trade. Contemporarily, the homophobia within the Black community has presented itself with derogatory language such as “sissy” to refer to boys for simply expressing themselves. A simple word can force closeted queer Black men even deeper into the closet or it can allow for heterosexual Black men to perpetuate homophobia and that can become violent.
Within the queer community the down low, or DL, man is a man who has sex with men but is not open about his sexual preferences and may even have a partner who is of the opposite sex. (The term DL is a term from AAVE and it was originally in reference to a Black man who was down-low, but the definition has since been used in a broader sense regardless of race and ethnicity.) The issue with the DL man lies within the secrecy and concealing of their sexual preferences. It may sound harmless but it actually involves a lot of harm as their sexual partners can be subject to abuse and violence. Additionally, if the DL man has another partner, typically a woman, and who is not aware of the affairs outside of the relationship, this brings an issue of infidelity into the equation along with sexual health concerns.
If Black men were free to express themselves and love who they wanted to love without judgment, they would be allowed to exist openly and not have to feel the need to conceal their true identities.
Positive Masculinity
Masculinity is not a problem and it does not have to be toxic as there is beauty within a positive approach to being masculine. Positive masculinity looks like a man who respects women and people of all gender and sexual identities. A Black man who protects Black women and Black trans and queer folks is embodying positive masculinity. Positive masculinity is being an example of a positive role model and leader. A Black man who is a present father and family member is embodying positive masculinity. Positive masculinity is embracing a softer side and being comfortable with your masculinity. A Black man who is comfortable with being vulnerable and can find the balance between the internal masculine and feminine energies is embodying positive masculinity. Positive masculinity is above all embracing the self and being free to express all of the things that make you who you are. Positively masculine Black men are what the Black community needs.
Written by K. Pereira @kaleb.pereira922
Creative Director: Tayja Whyte @tayjaa.x
Production Manager: Chloe Kaleah Stewart @chloe.kaleah
Photography: Callum Floris @calamityfloris
Production: Mickayla Davis @_mickayladavis_ | Jazzi Almestica @shes.so.dope
PA: Elena Richardson @elfrances | Amanda Manson @_amanddaaa
Models: Mekayla Bailey @mekaylajade_21 | K Pereira @kaleb.pereira922
Armani Gabriel @armanigabriel_ | DJ Lorthe @jst_.dj | Kai Richberg @iamkairichberg | Najee Durrett @najeeed1234
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Amanda Manson @_amanddaaa | Chloe Kaleah Stewart @chloe.kaleah | Jordan Green @glssymintdrp | Thalia Bazile @thalia_bazile