Nov 1, 20233 min read

Girl Dinner and the Girl Economy

Written by Grace Bradley

Photography by Mark Bluemle

Production by Jazzi Almestica

Styling by Diamond Durant

Talent: @gabriellebiancaaa_ @dianavictxria on Instagram

Adding the word “girl” to almost anything appears to be the hot new thing. Between the downtown girl, the tomato girl, girl math, and the ever-present girl boss, women worldwide can now sort themselves into any hyperspecific personality trait. The most prominent of these phrases is that of girl dinner. Girl dinner, according to Urban Dictionary, is “a dinner that consists of many different kinds of small appetizers/snacks rather than just one entree”. Think charcuterie or cheese boards. I’ve seen one made up of microwaveable popcorn and watermelon and another that only contained pickles. The trend sounds innocent enough, and to be fair I do believe most people who partake in the trend are doing so purely for fun. I’m more concerned with how the trend is emblematic of a culture obsessed with turning women into a suffocating box labeled with market-friendly quirks.

Way back in 2012, Gillian Flynn’s landmark novel Gone Girl blessed us with The Cool Girl Monologue. The monologue comes from its (debatable) antiheroine, Amy Dunne. Amy relents the Cool Girl, a male fantasy that women are forced to perform.

“Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves, threesomes and anal sex and hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool girls never get angry, they only smile in a chagrined loving manner and let men do whatever they want.” (Flynn)

The Cool Girl is a clear representation of the ideal woman of the 2010s. The Cool Girl embodied the era’s hipster and “real” attitude. She was the beckon of the early tens fake authenticity. And despite her discovery over ten years ago, she remains. Except she’s taken on a plethora of new forms. Girl dinner is a wonderful representation of one of the new Cool Girls. Girl dinner is for girls who are a little quirky, but not offputting. Girl dinner is for girls who are either too successful or too down to earth to make a classic meal. Girl dinner is small and dainty, unlike the way men indulge themselves. Girl dinner is for girls who are in on the joke. Girl dinner at its heart is a joke, but it’s also a little sincere. Making fun of your inability to properly sustain yourself is a signifier of, well, coolness. It’s just like how Bella Hadid’s thin, chainsmoking, esoteric sensibilities have become the ideal woman. She’s inexplicably modern, but her classic femininity speaks to our love of rigid gender norms. And above all else she’s marketable.

All these “girl” adjectives and nouns are perfect for Instagram and TikTok algorithms. They break down our complex identities and reduce them to brand-friendly buzzwords. Good Morning America did a segment on girl dinner and I can’t tell if that’s a good or bad thing. Trend cycles are always consumerist, and what does it say about our culture if the word girl is trendy? Both “girl” and “dinner” on their own have been marketable properties, although subtly, but the smashing of the words together in such an overt way makes it clear that a woman’s personhood is less important than what we can make off of them. The word girl from being elusive but personal, to a hashtag. I personally can’t stand that women have to be easy to swallow if they want to be interesting. Unfortunately, people care more about seeming hip than challenging gender-based capitalism.

I want to clarify one thing: I know the girl who made the original girl dinner sound was doing so just for fun. I don’t blame her at all for the way this thing has spun out of control. I do however blame the internet for capitalizing on one’s identity. I think it’s time we put the word girl down. She’s had a good run, but what else is there left to girlify? More importantly, what else can we apply the word girl to before it starts being classically misogynistic (look up girl math if you want an answer to that question)? We’ve somehow managed to go from wanting to dismantle gender, to right back around to reveling in it. There’s more to a person than what they’re worth algorithmically. I hope that we can all begin to explore who we are just as people, not as the type of “girl” we are.